Drowning
by xxRikkexx1
Summary: AU. 5 chapter ficlet, including loads and loads of Kendall whump. After the death of their mother Kendall and Katie live with their alcoholic, violent father. As things unfold, will Kendall drown in his despair or can his friends save him from his dad - and himself? Warnings: language, drugs, abuse, selfharm, oc death. Enjoy :D
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hellooo people :) This story has been converted from one of my non-fanfics, since I figured it could actually fit quite nicely as a Kendall(/Katie)-fic... Originally a one-shot, but it just got too long, so now I'm uploading all five chapters at once :)**

**Disclaimer: Surprise, surprise, I do NOT own Big Time Rush or the cover photo (no copyright infringement intended)! Nor do I own the lyrics used in the story by In Flames, Down, Slipknot, The Haunted and Throwdown... **

**Warnings: Hmm, me writing here, so... BAD LANGUAGE, mild drug use, physical abuse, selfharm and oc death...**

**Have fun reading :D**

* * *

**Monday: In Flames – Scream**

Kendall was abruptly ripped out of his dreams when his dad, Brian, started yelling and screaming downstairs. The blonde nearly fell off of his bed to make sure the door was still locked. It was, and Kendall heaved a sigh of relief. The teen turned around and grabbed his phone to see what time it was. 8.05. Shit! He felt his heart race in his chest. Not again!

Kendall quickly got dressed and slipped on his trusty, old Vans and grabbed his backpack before hurrying to the window. His heart dropped when he looked out and saw the rope floating in a puddle in the garden. Fucking crap!

Brian was thrashing around downstairs, working himself into complete hysteria, and Kendall flinched as he heard a plate break before an impressive amount of swear words reached his ears.

"Kendall get your lazy ass down here!" his dad roared in a rasping voice after enumerating every bad word known to mankind.

Kendall felt his heart rate speed up and swallowed his spit as he unlocked the door to go downstairs. What a lovely mood he would meet down there!

x-x

Brian was standing in the kitchen with his back turned. The shards from the plate were scattered across the floor and the fridge wasn't closed properly, a sour stench emerging from there. Clearly it had been open all night. Lovely!

"What the hell took you so long?" the scruffy man yelled when he heard Kendall enter the kitchen.

"I overslept…" Kendall answered, trying to figure out what had caused his dad's crappy mood this time.

Brian scratched his neck with a fork and slowly turned around to face his son.

"There's money missing from my wallet!" he said, voice threatening.

Wonderful, Kendall thought, here we go!

"I didn't take it" he said, preparing for his dad's easily predictable reaction.

Brian turned beet red and squinted, a great sigh escaping him.

"Are you calling me a liar?" he hissed.

"No sir, but I didn't…"

He pushed Kendall back til he hit the wall.

"Well, when it's missing, it has to be you who've taken it, right?"

Brian stepped up close, yelling in Kendall's face, so his bad breath hit him. Kendall felt the anger stir deep inside and his heart rate climbed even further.

"Or maybe you just forgot that you already spent it on your fucking booze!"

Kendall knew right away that he'd crossed the line. It was as if time itself had frozen. As if Kendall for a second left his body and saw the kitchen, his dad and himself from above. He knew what would happen next and opened his eyes, a shiver running down his spine. Then Brian raised his arm and let a large hand strike Kendall across the face. The boy squinted and heard his father's hand collide with his cheek with a loud smack.

Fully opening his eyes again, Kendall looked defiantly at his father for a few seconds, before ducking under his arm and running to the door.

Brian was yelling for him, but Kendall quickly grabbed his bike and put on his headphones. As he left the driveway, heading for school, In Flames shut out the noise of traffic, wrapping him in a small cocoon of music.

x-x

Kendall drove as fast as he could, trying to be as little late as possible. The first period was science with Mrs. Janson, and being late two Mondays in a row would no doubt get him hell! This day couldn't start any worse!

Halfway to the school the massive grey-blue clouds started sending light rain and thunder down on Kendall, and he looked up at the falling drops. The weather fit his mood perfectly!

His heart was beating fast and Kendall could feel the warmth in the cheek where Brian had hit him. He was such an asshole! In Flames were still playing in Kendall's headphones, shutting out all other noises.

**We are ordinary people,  
in a world build on stress.  
When we build walls around us,  
we end up in a mess**

**They scream, You scream, I scream  
We scream**

**Abuse to feel superior,  
Is it working for you?...**

The song was interrupted by a text, and Kendall pulled out his phone, checking the message. It was from Carlos.

_Where R U? Mrs. Janson's pissed!_

Kendall sighed and quickly replied.

_On my way!_

x-x

Kendall threw his bike next to the door and hurried inside. He shook his head and dried the raindrops off his face, while walking down the hallway. When he reached the right classroom, he took a second to catch his breath before entering.

Mrs. Janson threw him a bitter look and pinched her lips, while Kendall went to the empty seat next to Carlos. The entire class eyed his cheek, and Kendall became consciously aware of the red hand print, clearly still marking the left side of his face. When he sat down, his phone fell out of his pocket and the headphones were yanked out. In Flames' somewhat aggressive music filled the room and Mrs. Janson flinched. She threw the boy an angry glare.

"You will shut off this satanic noise, RIGHT NOW!" she yelled, while Kendall grasped for his phone on the floor.

He finally got his hands on it and pressed the stop button.

"It's not satanic noise, it's metal…" he answered dryly and got back in the seat.

Dak and Wayne smirked at Kendall and mumbled something too low for him to hear. Kendall felt his face blush and he narrowed his eyes. Those idiots were asking for a beating sometime soon!

"Why are you late again, Kendall? It's the second Monday in a row" Mrs. Janson sneered.

"I overslept…" he answered, looking down the table. Someone had written "Science blows" across it. He couldn't agree more. Unless they had written "Mrs. Janson blows"!

"I see" Mrs. Janson hissed, "well you'll have to learn to use an alarm clock then!"

She passed Kendall a detention slip and pursed her lips.

"Next time it's the principal's office!"

Kendall rolled his eyes as Mrs. Janson went back to her desk. She was such a major bitch, and Kendall had a hard time understanding why she was a high school teacher at all. She seemed to dislike every single student except for Logan and had called the majority of the class stupid at some point.

"F U!" Kendall muttered under his breath at Mrs. Janson, feeling certain hos voice was too low for her to hear what he had said.

The middle-aged woman slowly turned around and went back to Kendall. She leaned forward and pointed a finger right in front of Kendall's face.

"What was that?" she slithered, her face heating up with anger.

Kendall leaned back in his chair, moving away from the intrusion of his private space. Next to him Carlos slid down _his_ chair, feeling quite uncomfortable with it all.

"U-um..." Kendall stuttered "a... a few... something!"

Mrs. Janson glared at Kendall for a long while, making him lick his lips nervously. The teacher finally made one last huffing-sound at Kendall and then went to her desk where she continued her teaching.

x-x

When the bell rang, Kendall quickly gathered his things and left the classroom with his friends. Carlos was rambling on and on about the new place serving corndogs downtown, and Kendall couldn't help but smile at the Latino's twinkling eyes and excited gesticulations. Carlos always managed to change bad moods into good ones! He was a ray of light that shone so bright you couldn't help but feel happy around him.

On Carlos' other side James and Logan looked at each other without saying anything. They were both worried about Kendall and the way his father treated him. The red mark on Kendall's face was without a doubt just one out of many on their friend's body, and the fact that Kendall had made them swear never to tell a living soul just felt so wrong. They wouldn't betray their friend, but they both knew it would be for the best if they did! Clearly Carlos worried too, but his antsy and happy-go-lucky nature kept him from being lost in thought for too long at a time. He focused on making Kendall smile here and now, and be there to comfort him when he needed that.

Kendall threw a glance at James and Logan and subconsciously tugged at his sleeves. Maybe his best friends knew about the things his dad did to him, but no one knew about the things he did himself. And he wanted to keep it that way!

Suddenly Kendall received a hard push on his shoulder as Dak and Wayne passed him in the hallway.

"Why are you late again Kendall!" Wayne mocked in a shrill imitation of Mrs. Janson.

"Next time it's the principal's office" Dak added in a not as convincing imitation.

The angry pit in Kendall's stomach started boiling and he curled up his fists.

"Shut the fuck up!" he hissed.

Wayne spun around and leaned over Kendall, his eyes glistening. The situation from the kitchen flashed before Kendall's eyes and he swallowed his spit, blinking a few times.

"Don't tell me to fucking shut up, Knight!" Wayne growled and poked Kendall in the chest.

Kendall grabbed Wayne's hand and twisted his index finger backwards while taking a step forward. Wayne let out a howl of pain and went to his knees to ease the pressure on his finger.

"KENDALL!" an angry voice boomed from down the hall, and Kendall immediately let go of Wayne's finger.

He inhaled deeply and waited for the inevitable.

A second later Mrs. Janson's claw-like hand pinched his neck and she pushed him lightly forward.

"Let go!" Kendall said through gritted teeth, but Mrs. Janson just changed her grip and pulled Kendall with her by the arm. He sent his friends a helpless look before the science teacher pulled him around the corner.

"How dare you attack Wayne like that?" Mrs. Janson roared, as she dragged the fuming boy with her across the schoolyard.

"Well for one, he started it!" Kendall said – easily hearing how childish his words sounded.

"Oh, he started it" Mrs. Janson replied sarcastically, giving Kendall an unpleasant yank, "well let's see what Principal Bennett thinks about that!"

x-x

Kendall studied his shoes while Principal Bennett yelled at him. Mrs. Janson was leaning at the door, arms crossed and guarding him like a prison guard.

Kendall didn't really listen to what Bennett was screaming, but one sentence suddenly hit him full force:

"Are we going to have to call your father again, huh?"

Kendall felt the blood freeze in his veins and he shook his head.

"No!" he mumbled, desperately hoping that Bennett wouldn't call Brian.

His thoughts wandered to last spring...

…_Carlos was looking over his shoulder, but apparently no one was there. Kendall shut the faucet and carefully sat the garbage can on the floor. James emptied the bag of confetti into the water and threw his friends a smile. This would be epic! James opened the window and together Carlos and Kendall managed to get the heavy bucket to the window. They all peeked out. Both blonde and curly Jennifer were still sitting at the bench, so the boys silently pushed the window all the way up, and Kendall lifted the water-filled garbage can to the window sill._

_Just as the three snickering boys tipped the bucket and the water started to pour out, an angry outburst made them all flinch._

"_What on earth is going on here!"_

_Fright made Kendall let go of everything and the bucket fell out the window. The boys turned towards the irate teacher and cringed as they heard a splash followed by a shriek as the garbage can made contact with someone's head. _

"_You three follow me, NOW!" the teacher sneered, pointing at the boys, and they followed him down the stairs._

_Blonde Jennifer was sobbing in the schoolyard. Her white clothes was soaked, so everybody could see her bra, makeup ran down her cheeks and she covered a bleeding cut on her head with her hand. The teacher grabbed Jennifer around the shoulders and pushed her gently forward to guide her way. He threw the boys an angry look, and Kendall felt his heart sink. If Logan hadn't been sick they probably would never had ended up in this mess! _

_Principal Bennett had yelled a lot, pounded his fists at his table and then called both Carlos', James' and Kendall's parents. _

_Carlos' dad had crossed his arms, throwing his son a disappointed glare before they left, and Kendall heard Carlos explaining what had happened as he exited the office with his head bowed down in shame. They never meant to hurt anyone!_

_Mrs. Diamond had tapped her foot and stared James down. His cheeks flushed and he had to clear his throat several times before being able to explain the situation. James' mom had grabbed her son by an arm and dragged him with her while yelling all the while. She hadn't concealed her thoughts on Kendall being a bad influence! _

_Kendall was the last to leave the office, and his dad's behavior in the room had scared him to death. Brian had been civil, apologized on his son's behalf and had promised Bennett that something like this would NEVER happen again. _

_When they entered the car all hell had broken loose. Brian had smacked Kendall in the back of the head and screamed at him all the way home, nearly torpedoing an old lady with a walker, who had to jump to the side to keep her feet._

_Kendall had had to sleep on his stomach for the next week..._

"Pay attention when I'm talking to you!" Bennett screamed, and pulled Kendall out of his thoughts. The principal threw him a nasty look before asking him to leave the office. Mrs. Janson didn't look too satisfied. No doubt she'd hoped for Brian to come, but for once Kendall had been lucky.

x-x

When school and detention were finally over, Kendall gathered his stuff and flew out the door. At 3.20 pm, he got off his bike and ran to the bus, where the driver had just started emptying the luggage to the sidewalk. The kids were spilling out the bus and ran to their waiting parents with happy faces.

Kendall spotted her before she saw him. She was with her best friend Rosie, and they were both laughing so hard they almost cried. Kendall smiled to himself. Sometimes he wondered how Katie could be such a happy girl. She was truly special and there was no one in the world he loved as much as her!

"Kendall!" she screamed happily and ran to her brother.

"Hi" he said, hugging her, "did you have a nice trip?"

Katie nodded and started telling. They had had a contest that she had obviously won, they had eaten tortillas for dinner and ice cream for dessert, their English teacher Mr. Myers had scared them in the night with a mask and the boys had TP'ed a nearby house and gotten in trouble. And Katie had won 20 bucks from playing texas hold'em with a group of the other kids in the night!

Kendall tied Katie's sleeping bag to his backpack and she put on her rucksack.

"Ready?" Kendall asked, and Katie nodded before jumping on to the back of Kendall's bike.

They headed home, and Katie clutched her brother's shoulders and screamed with laughter as they drove down the hill.

Their dad was standing in the driveway when they reached home. He hadn't shaved, and a cigarette protruded from the corner of his mouth. When he saw Katie on the back of the bike his face turned red.

"Katie get off that bike! How many times do I have to say it?"

Katie jumped off and went to the house, with her head bowed down.

"Sorry daddy" she said, passing him, but he just gave her a gentle push.

Kendall locked the bike and eyed his dad. He flicked away his cigarette and blew out the smoke.

"Are you stupid or something? Why the _hell_ don't you understand that I don't want Katie on the back of that bike!"

Kendall didn't answer, and Brian smacked him hard in the back of the head.

Kendall flinched and thought of how Gibbs always used to headslap DiNozzo in NCIS. It certainly looked way more humorous on TV than when his dad hit _him_!

x-x

Katie was making small holes in her rice with her fork and pushed different vegetables in the different holes. Corn in one, peas in another and red peppers in a third. Kendall smiled at his sister. She was in a completely different world, probably thinking of her next online poker game. At least until Brian slammed his hand down the table and told her to stop playing with her food.

Katie flinched in surprise and accidentally knocked over her glass of milk. She looked at her dad with insecure eyes.

"I honestly don't think the food gives a shit!" Kendall said, as he got up to get some paper towels for the milk.

Brian scowled at him and Katie's eyes darted from one to the other.

"Is the kid yours or mine!"

Kendall huffed.

"Yeah, well I wonder that myself sometimes!" he mumbled to himself. A little too loudly.

That sentence had only been for him to hear, but his dad had obviously heard as well. He slowly put down his knife and fork and narrowed his eyes at his son.

"What did you say, boy?!"

"Nothing... sir" Kendall answered quickly and swallowed his spit.

"Katie go to your room" Brian demanded and pointed at his daughter.

The worst thing you could do was to question Brian's skills as a parent or refer to his alcohol problem! And now Kendall had done both in the same day. The teen sucked in his bottom lip. Wonderful, he thought and bit hard on the lip.

"No, dad..." Katie pleaded.

Her father slammed his fist down the table again, making the small girl jump.

"NOW KATIE!" he yelled.

Katie teared up and pushed her chair back. Kendall gently touched her shoulder as she past him.

"Lock your door!" he whispered, and she nodded, looking into the piercingly green eyes of her brother.

Brian almost never hurt Katie. Aside from Kendall she was his only link to Jennifer, and Katie looked so much like her it almost physically hurt him sometimes!

When he heard his daughter shut her door, Brian got up and in two long steps reached Kendall, who grit his teeth but didn't cower back when the taller man towered over him.

"Don't you EVER try to tell med how to raise my own kid! GOT IT?"

Kendall just looked at the man in front of him, wishing him to hell. Brian raised his arm and backhanded Kendall across the face.

"GOT IT, I ASKED!" he yelled and raised his hand again.

"Yes, God dammit, fucking relax!"

Kendall quickly stepped back out of his dad's reach.

Brian was fuming with anger and grabbed Katie's plate. Without a word he threw it right past Kendall. It hit the wall an shattered on the floor, and Kendall flinched.

Brian pushed his son hard up against the wall, his hand around his neck. Kendall wheezed, feeling the strong anger radiating from his dad, and for the first time ever he feared that Brian would severely harm him. They stared at each other for a few moments, before Brian let his hand fall, and Kendall stormed out of the house after grabbing his jacket.

x-x

Kendall turned on his music and went to James'. He lived with his mom in a castle of a house, and though his parents were divorced, Kendall couldn't help but wish he had been born into such a family instead of his own. But then he thought about Katie and immediately regretted his thoughts. She was his light! His princess! And he couldn't picture his life without her in it!

Kendall knocked on the door and waited. He heard steps approaching and Brooke Diamond opened the door. She pinched her lips and glared at Kendall with a stern look in her eyes. Kendall remembered her words of him being a bad influence, but he pushed them aside an looked her straight in the eyes.

"Is James home?" he asked, scratching his neck.

"Yes, he's upstairs in his room" Mrs. Diamond answered curtly and let Kendall enter.

He ascended the stairs and knocked on James' door.

"What?" he yelled from within, sounding annoyed.

He smiled when he saw Kendall standing in the doorway, but his grin disappeared when he spotted the bruise on Kendall's cheekbone.

"Can I crash here?" the blonde asked, while he plopped down own James' bed.

"Sure, bro... what'd he do this time?"

Kendall licked his lips and sighed before he told James everything. When he finished he felt like a great burden had been lifted off of his shoulders, but as always also felt embarrassed. James didn't really know where to look. He never knew quite how to react to Kendall's disturbing tales of his homelife, but finally raised his gaze to look at his friend.

"Kendall... you need to go to the police!"

Kendall shook his head no.

James bit his lip a little, before he tried again.

"At least let Carlos tell his dad! Brian's a freaking psycho, you and Katie shouldn't be living with him!"

Kendall let himself fall backwards on the bed. He had explained it a million times.

"You know why I can't talk to the police... If we have to enter the system, Katie and I will probably get separated, and... and I don't think I would survive without her..."

James nodded and decided not to push Kendall any further. He turned on his stereo, A Perfect Circle enveloping the room. James got up and locked the door before he pulled out the wooden box from underneath his bed.

"Wanna smoke?" he asked.

When Kendall nodded, James was already mixing the tobacco from a cigarette with the weed, and Kendall rested his head on the bed while James finished making the joint.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tuesday: Down – Stone the Crow**

Kendall woke at 6.00 am. His mouth was as dry as if he'd inhaled the entire Sahara desert! He found his things from across the room and pushed James in the back. His friend opened his eyes to small slits and looked at Kendall with a confused look in the hazel eyes.

"I gotta get home to Katie..." Kendall explained, guilt filling his stomach, "See you at school."

James mumbled something and rolled over to his stomach, before he immediately started snoring again.

x-x

The sun was rising in the east and a silent summer rain was falling on Kendall as he went home. The door was locked and without his keys he had to find another way in. Kendall went to the yard and put a garden chair next to the shed so he could get to the roof. Standing on his toes, he managed to reach Katie's window, and he pulled at it with his fingertips. The window opened with a noisy creak.

"Katie" he whisper-yelled.

No reaction.

"Katie" he tried again a little louder.

He heard the bed squeak and Katie's dark-haired head became visible. She yawned and rubbed her eyes.

"Hand me the sheet" he said, and Katie disappeared from the window.

A moment later her rolled up sheet came flying out and Kendall pulled himself up and into her room. He crawled to her bed and wrapped his arms around his sister.

"Where did you go?" Katie asked, unable to hide the hurt in her voice.

Kendall rolled his eyes. How could he forget to text Katie and let her know where he was! Stupid!

"I went to James'" Kendall said, "Katie, I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you, okay!"

"It's alright" she answered and snuggled into her brothers hug, "I was just scared for you..."

Kendall was ashamed for not thinking about Katie, but it was too late for that now. He pushed his guilty thoughts aside and ruffled Katie's hair.

"Come on up, let's get some breakfast and get out of the house before dad wakes up!"

Katie dressed and they both snuck down to the kitchen, careful not to step on the squeaky step of the stairs and avoid making any noise themselves.

The shards from the plate and the dried up rice were still on the floor, indicating that Brian probably had spent his evening in the living room in the company of a wide selection of bottles!

Katie ate her Fruity Loops while Kendall cleaned up the plate and the food, and they were soon ready to get going.

x-x

Kendall threw his bike on the ground and looked at the buildings in front of him. The memories came flooding back as they walked to the door of Katie's school. Almost all the teachers Kendall had known when he went there still worked at the school.

A group of 6th or 7th graders were standing by the bushes next to the entrance and Katie stopped dead in her tracks. She swallowed her spit and looked up at her big brother.

"Those are the kids I told you about that tease me about mom!"

Kendall narrowed his eyes and looked at the group. He recognized both Simon and Joey amongst them and spit on the ground. They had been a few years younger when he had last seen them, but they had been brats then already. Puberty probably hadn't improved that!

A few weeks earlier Katie had shown Kendall a giant bruise on her arm where one of the kids had held her firmly, while the other boys taunted her with her dead mother and scattered the contents of her backpack and pencil case on the ground. Katie was usually a strong girl, but she was small for her age and if a boy held her firmly by both arms, there wasn't much she could do. Being continuously bullied by the group of boys was getting to her, and Kendall spotted tears gathering in her eyes.

He felt his heart do a flip at the sight of Katie's tears and decided to make sure these punks would stay away from his sister!

"Well hello!" Kendall said in his most hoarse voice, "I heard you guys get your kicks from bullying my sister!"

Katie tried pulling Kendall with her past the boys, but he wouldn't let her. The bullying was going to end here and now!

"When you mess with her, you mess with me! And I don't take crap from anyone..."

Simon, Joey and one of the other boys looked at Kendall as if he was an idiot, but the other boys looked slightly alarmed by the bigger boy's threat.

"Shut up!" Joey exclaimed, looking Kendall right in the eyes.

Kendall furrowed his brows and let go of Katie. He quickly twisted Joey's arm around, pushing him face first into the brick wall.

The boy howled in pain.

"Ow, ow, let go of me!" he screamed and grit his teeth.

"Then promise you'll stay away from Katie!"

Joey didn't budge, so Kendall pushed a little harder, making the younger boy's cheek scrape along the bricks.

"Ow! Okay, okay, we'll leave her alone!"

Kendall released his grip, and Joey touched his skinless cheek with tears in his eyes. His friend threw his cigarette on the ground and eyed Kendall.

"Fuck you" he said, "you can't just do stuff like that!"

Kendall just huffed.

"Oh, really! But you can go around bullying Katie because her mom's dead! Great logic you idiot!"

"Screw you Knight, do you think I'm afraid of you?" the boy shot back.

Honestly Kendall was surprised by his outburst. When he was thirteen he would never have talked that way to a high schooler who had a physical advantage.

"Clearly not, but you should be, you little shit!" he hissed, and pushed the boy so hard he fell backwards and slammed his head on the ground with a loud, unpleasant thud.

Kendall hadn't planned for the kid to go down so hard, but apparently caught him completely unaware. Three of the other boys scurried off and Simon kneeled to the ground tending to his friend. Kendall and Katie looked at each other, not quite sure what to do, but a moment later Joey returned followed by Kendall's old arch enemy Mr. Craig.

Kendall looked at Katie and licked his lips.

"You better get to class" he said, "I'll make sure they don't bother you again, okay? See you later baby sis..."

Katie hurried inside, and just as the door slammed shut Mr. Craig's voice reached Kendall.

"What in heaven's name do you think you're doing young man!"

Kendall's aversions towards the man filled his chest and he looked at the teacher, who was quickly closing the gap between himself and Kendall. The way he yelled "young man" gave Kendall the creeps. His favorite way to yell at Kendall when he got in trouble always included a scolding telling Kendall how he had to be the worst troublemaker the school had ever housed, and that he needed a good whuppin' to get back on track! Kendall had almost laughed at the irony of that. Almost! At a particularly bad day, those words had triggered Kendall to cut himself for the first time when he got home, only to receive the worst beating in his life afterwards, when his dad went blind with rage after finding one of his favorite pictures of Jennifer covered in blood!

The boy on he ground got up, sniveling, and pressed a hand to the back of his head. Kendall's train of thought was broken by the movement in front of him. Simon and Joey looked from Craig to Kendall and back to Craig. The teacher was fuming with anger.

"But they've been bullying Katie! Pushing her and throwing her stuff around. Making fun of her because our mom's dead!" Kendall explained while Mr. Craig walked the last few steps before reaching Kendall.

The teacher squinted and looked at the young boys.

"Simon, Joey, is this true?"

They both eyed the ground, but turned somewhat red in their faces. Mr. Craig cleared his throat.

"We'll deal with that later!" he said firmly, pointing at the boys.

Craig shifted his gaze to look at the boy who had just gotten up from the ground. The boy removed his hand from his head and looked at it. It was covered in blood!

"What in... you severely hurt him!" Mr. Craig bellowed.

"No... that's not... I didn't mean to!" Kendall tried to explain.

Mr. Craig huffed and grabbed Kendall hard by the arm. The other boys threw Kendall gloating looks, and he felt his cheeks blush.

"We had our share of problems with you when you were a student here, Mr. Knight!" Mr. Craig yelled, "You'll follow me and then we'll call Brian!" he continued.

Kendall tried pulling away, but the older man tightened his grip and dragged Kendall towards the principal's office. The bleeding boy followed them the first piece of the way and then turned left to get to the nurse.

Kendall tried yanking himself free again.

"I have to ge to class" he said desperately, "I'm gonna be late!"

"Well you should have thought about that, before causing trouble here!" Craig exclaimed, twisting Kendall's arm evilly.

x-x

The secretary looked quite surprised to see Kendall in the office. They had seen a good deal of each other throughout Kendall's years at the school, and in the end they almost developed a friendship of sorts.

"Hi Miss Pillsbury" Kendall greeted, as Craig pushed him down on a chair and asked the secretary to find Brian's phone number.

"Kendall?" she greeted back, arching an eyebrow.

He shook his head and tugged at his sleeves, feeling his insides churn. This was so bad! He would give anything to have Logan, James or Carlos by his side right now. Anything for a small raft of comfort in this ocean of jittering nerves!

x-x

The door was almost blown off its hinges as Brian entered the office. Miss Pillsbury jumped in her seat and Kendall sighed deeply, feeling his heart race when his dad looked at him with an evil glare. Mr. Craig quickly explained what had happened, and Brian developed red spots on his neck, as always when he got agitated.

"How did you get the idea that it's okay to hurt the younger kids?!" he hissed, and grabbed Kendall by the collar of his shirt.

"Yeah, I wonder how!" Kendall retorted sarcastically as he was yanked to his feet.

Brian's grip on Kendall's shirt made one of the sleeves ride up, and Kendall spotted Miss Pillsbury eying his arm. He wasn't sure if she could se the scars, but he felt his face heat up nonetheless. No one could see!

Brian looked at his son with madness in his eyes and he pulled him harshly from the office. When he and Kendall got off school grounds, Brian exploded in an outburst of rage, and spit flew from his mouth.

Kendall tuned out his crap, but groaned as he slapped him hard on the head. Brian stepped up close and grabbed Kendall by the shirt again. He pulled him slightly upwards, nearly making their noses touch.

"You're picking Katie up after school and then coming straight home! And we'll have a little chat tonight! Got it!" he slithered, and released his grip on Kendall.

Kendall exhaled, before swallowing the lump in his throat. He flinched as his dad raised his arm to hit him again.

"Yes, I understand!" Kendall quickly mumbled and took a step away from his father.

When Brian went towards the car Kendall jumped his bike after putting on the headphones. He turned up his music and drifted into a world where lyrics somehow always seemed to fit his situation, and the music always fit his mood. God I hate him, Kendall thought, if it hadn't been for Katie I would have left years ago... Or have killed myself!

Kendall placed his bike in the bike rack and sighed. Black thoughts of the ill-fated night so long ago pulsated through him in waves, and he felt tears rise in his eyes...

_...The sound of screeching brakes, flashing lights, the noise from the radio and then darkness and a ringing in his ears! When he woke up Brian had been sitting in a chair with Katie on his lap and big black circles under his eyes. One of Kendall's eyes was closed shut from swelling and the other sore from a split eyebrow. His arm was broken and he had a deep flesh wound on his leg where a piece of glass had penetrated the skin._

_As Kendall recovered, his dad got worse! He went from one six pack of beer a day, to two, to rum and vodka and then all of it together. He would mostly lie on the couch, a picture of Jennifer in one hand and a beer in the other. Slowly, the way he looked at Kendall changed, and in the end he shot daggers at his son every time he saw him._

_The first time he had hit him, Kendall got so scared that he cried. He had accidentally stepped on a picture of his mother, and in Brian's world this equaled both treachery and blasphemy. Besides, it was practically Kendall's fault that his wife had been killed, so it was only fair that he slapped him around a bit! At least that was how he explained himself afterwards._

_However he couldn't explain himself the next day, when he had slapped Katie for knocking over a cold, new beer. Katie had started crying hard and looked frightened at her father. Kendall had placed himself between them, yelling at Brian how the hell he could defend hitting a 7-year-old! Brian had turned beet red and looked at Katie with a confused and apologetic look in his eyes, but she just cried and kept her gaze averted. _

_That night Brian had entered Kendall's room with his belt hanging from one hand and a manic expression on his face. Kendall had twisted, yelled, screamed and cried until he capitulated and just took what his dad dealt him. When he left Kendall decided not to waste a single more tear because of Brian. He wouldn't win by making him cry! If he and Katie had to be okay Kendall had to be strong enough for the both of them..._

Kendall sighed deeply and plopped down on the bench in front of the classroom and pulled up his legs. The class would be done in ten minutes, so it would probably be better to just wait there and avoid unwanted attention.

Kendall turned up the music volume and slipped into the enveloping music world again.

**Flip through endless stories.  
A life of hand-written pain.  
No one can share this hurt that is mine, mine, mine.**

**I never died before.  
Can't be what happened yesterday.  
I shouldn't stone the crow, no.  
Ride on!**

**Same old city, same old pain.  
No matter how I try,  
No matter what I say,  
I'm blamed, I'm shamed,  
I'm judged unfairly.**

x-x

The rest of the day passed, and Kendall's thoughts kept circling about his mom, about Brian and about the kid he pushed so hard he cracked his head open. Was he even better than Brian when it came down to it?

x-x

"Kendall will you PLEASE answer my question?"

He looked up at Mrs. Janson without a clue what he had been asked, and Logan sent him a worried glance.

"What?" Kendall spat.

Mrs. Janson sighed and threw the teenager in front of her an angry look.

"Answer the question Mr. Knight!"

"I didn't hear what you said. Freaking ask someone who wants to answer!"

Mrs. Janson was clearly shocked. She blinked a couple of times and adopted a rather attractive shade of redish purple in her broad face. James, Logan and Carlos all glared at Kendall, clearly alarmed by his behavior, and Wayne looked from Mrs. Janson to Kendall in expectation of further drama.

Mrs. Janson pointed a fat finger at Kendall.

"You do NOT address me that way" she squealed, "do you understand me?!"

Kendall threw his things into his backpack and pushed back the chair. After putting on his headphones and turning on the music he looked at the stunned teacher.

"Fuck! You!" he proclaimed in a hoarse voice, before he left his classmates in buzzing excitement and Mrs. Janson on the verge of a breakdown!

Kendall strode down the hallway, his heart pounding in his chest.

"KENDALL!" Mrs. Janson was screaming hysterically, "KENDALL, YOU GET BACK HERE!"

Instead he walked slowly down the hall, ignoring the yelling.

x-x

Kendall sat down on the bike rack and breathed in a couple of times. Maybe he wasn't exactly the best behaved student, but he had never talked to a teacher that way before! If he didn't want to get kicked out, there was probably going to be an unpleasant meeting at Bennett's office where hysterical yelling and punching the table would be the main event!

The blonde took a sip of water and unlocked his bike. There was no point in staying, so Kendall decided to go to Katie's school and wait for her.

x-x

Katie immediately spotted her brother and hurried to him after waving goodbye to he friends. She sent him an exploring look.

"What happened when I went to class?" she asked curiously.

"Oh, I just had a meeting with my good ol' pal Mr. Craig!" Kendall answered sarcastically

Katie didn't say another word, but just looked down. She kicked the gravel and then looked up at her brother.

"What happened to Peter? That kid you pushed!"

Kendall swallowed his spit.

"He had to go to the nurse... I... h-he cracked his head open..."

Kendall hesitated a bit before he continued.

"But Katie, he wasn't meant to get hurt like that. Don't start beating the crap out of all the other kids just because you saw me do that this morning, okay!"

She shook her head with a small giggle.

"Well of course I won't stupid!" she said, before hugging unto her brother, "and thanks!"

A warm, fuzzy feeling spread through Kendall and his worrisome thoughts were pushed aside for a while.

He looked at Katie and pointed to his bike.

"Are you getting on?"

"But dad said..."

"Aarh, he won't know" Kendall said with a small smile, "we'll stop before we get home so you can get off!"

Katie smiled and shortly after they were on their way home.

x-x

The driver didn't see them until it was too late. All she could do was slam the brakes down, but it wasn't enough to avoid the collision. Katie was thrown over the bike, hit the hood and the windshield of the car and then landed on the road with an eerie thud!

Kendall was pushed to the side and slid several feet across the road with his arm and jaw line in the gravel. He felt the skin break from the friction and a burning, stinging sensation spread on his face and arm.

Kendall registered a stream of blood coming from Katie's head and the anxious screams of the driver, before his field of vision narrowed down and a ringing tone spread in his head!

He opened his eyes when three ambulances reached them, the siren having pulled him out of the blackness.

Doctors were sitting next to Katie on the ground, readying a spinal board, the police was talking to the driver and another doctor was standing over Kendall, his lips moving. It took a while before Kendall could make out the words.

"Where does it hurt the most?"

Kendall lifted his arm. The doctor nodded and continued checking Kendall's injuries. He was lifted to the ambulance and along with Katie was taken to the hospital.

Kendall had been extremely lucky, the doctor told him in the car. Only superficial wounds and bruises. When they reached the hospital, Katie was driven to the operating room and Kendall was placed on a bed. His head was throbbing and an old nurse entered the room. She grabbed Kendall's shirt and started rolling up the sleeve. He grabbed her hand, wanting her to stop, but the nurse sent him a strict look and continued her work.

"You shouldn't do this to yourself!" the nurse scolded when she spotted the scars, and Kendall flinched at her words.

Oh really, he thought, well thanks for enlightening me!

"God didn't give you this life, so you could hurt yourself and end it early!" the idiotic nurse continued.

Kendall swallowed his spit and wondered how anybody could work in a hospital and show so little compassion!

"I don't believe in God!" he said dryly.

The nurse pinched her lips and looked at Kendall as if he was the meanest person on the planet. Then she grabbed a syringe from a table and jammed the needle into Kendall's arm with unnecessary force. Kendall winced, and in a few minutes started feeling drowsy.

x-x

He woke with the worst headache in the history of headaches! A big bandage covered his right forearm, another his jaw. The room smelled characteristically like hospital, and Kendall suddenly remembered what had happened. His stomach twisted in fear as he thought of Katie!

A glass of water had been placed on the table next to the bed and Kendall washed it down in two great gulps. He looked around the room and spotted his clothes on the chair. Kendall climbed out of bed and quickly dressed. He needed to know how Katie was doing!

Kendall limped out of the room and went to the secretary sitting behind the desk, and asked about Katie. Sympathetic, kind blue eyes watched him carefully as the secretary told him that Katie had been placed in an artificial coma and was currently in room 408. She had fractured her skull and broken her back!

Kendall felt tears spill down his cheeks and a hollow cry escaped him. Not Katie, he thought, I can't lose Katie! The kind secretary permitted him a five minute visit, and Kendall went to room 408 with his heart pounding in his chest.

New tears threatened to fall when Kendall saw his sister. Katie was hooked up to several machines and tubes were everywhere! Kendall touched her cheek and felt empty inside. If she didn't wake up, Kendall would never forgive himself!

x-x

When Kendall went down the hall he spotted Brian coming toward him, and he immediately turned around and ran the other way. Luckily he wasn't followed and Kendall managed to sneak out of the hospital unseen.

He ignored all the staring looks people threw him and hurried home.

x-x

Kendall grabbed his hockey bag and quickly stuffed it with a pile of clothes along with a few pairs of Vans, his toothbrush, deodorant and Katie's little brown teddy bear. Then he zipped the bag and grabbed his skateboard that was leaning on his bed.

x-x

James opened the door and glared at his friend, fear apparent in the hazel eyes. Without a word he moved aside to let Kendall enter, and the boys hurried to James' room.

"What the hell happened Kendall?" James asked softly, as they entered his room.

Kendall started shaking and James led him to the bed. He took a few deep breaths, and then told James what had happened.

"Fucking hell, Kendall" James groaned, "what are we gonna do?"

Kendall shook his head and cried down James' shirt. He could withstand being screamed at, getting beaten, being thrown out of school. But he couldn't withstand losing Katie!

"Maybe you should explain to your dad that it wasn't your fault..."

Kendall pulled back and wiped his nose.

"But it WAS my fault! And he'll kill me if I go home!"

"Kendall it was NOT your fault! And I didn't mean to be a jerk, I just thought... I don't know! Fuck!"

James ran a hand through his hair and licked his lips before retrieving the wooden box. The rest of the night disappeared in heavy metal and weed!


	3. Chapter 3

**Wednesday: Slipknot – Duality**

Kendall and James walked to school the next day without a single word. Carlos and Logan were waiting for them outside and got up when they spotted them. Carlos had been absent from class way too much as it was, but Logan, James and Kendall decided to skip school and head to town. The little Latino showed off the most exaggerated pout ever and convinced James to stay at school, so he wouldn't have to face Mrs. Janson alone.

x-x

Kendall had removed the bandage from his jaw and sported a bright red wound going from the chin and half across the jaw line. It stung like hell, but air would make the wound heal faster as long it was kept clean. A quick glimpse of his mom pulling a Power Rangers Band-Aid off Kendall's knee came and went in an instant, and Kendall felt a stab at his heart. Why did he have to lose everybody he loved?!

x-x

The boys trudged around the mall for a few hours, half of them spent in the bookstore, to Logan's great pleasure and Kendall's great dismay, and after grabbing some sandwiches to go they decided to go to Logan's house. Both his parents worked late hours and wouldn't be home before around 9 pm.

Kendall's thoughts never left Katie, and he kept staring at a picture showing himself and Katie along with James, Carlos and Logan at Six Flags. The picture was a year old and Kendall remembered the day to be one of the best in his life!

They had all been on so many rides that they got nauseous, their heads spinning with dizziness, and Carlos had puked after eating seven corndogs in two and a half minutes! Some of the puke somehow got in James' perfect hair and he had sulked for hours. Logan had screamed like a little girl when Kendall and Carlos forced him on the scariest rollercoaster in the entire amusement park, and Katie had won six teddy bears in varying sizes and colors. Kendall couldn't remember any better days than that one! An entire day where he hadn't needed to worry about his and Katie's safety! Katie! Please Katie, wake up! Wake up and be okay!

Kendall mechanically lifted his sandwich to his mouth. He ate and drank without tasting, and he didn't hear a word Logan said. He was finally pulled out of his muffled world when Logan snapped his fingers right in front of him.

"Hey, are you there?" Logan asked, unable to mask the worry in his voice, "we have to get some groceries for dinner..."

"You go, I'll just stay here..." Kendall said in a monotonous voice.

Logan bit his lip.

"I don't really think you should be alone right now Kendall!" he said gently, and squeezed Kendall's shoulder, "come on, let's just go..."

Kendall shook his head and mustered a fake smile.

"I'll be fine" he said, "I really just need some peace and quiet!"

Logan sighed, shifting his feet. He really didn't want to leave Kendall alone, his inner doctor telling him that Kendall was in such a fragile state that he might do something unpredictable, but he had to get the groceries to be able to make dinner. He looked at his friend again.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" he asked and looked straight into Kendall's eyes, "Honestly!"

Kendall smiled again and kept his eyes on Logan's.

"Yes" he answered, "honestly!"

Logan threw him one last worried look, and then went to put on his shoes.

"I'll hurry back, okay?"

Kendall just nodded.

"And I'll text James and Carlos to let them know you're here..."

When Logan left, Kendall plugged his phone in the stereo and turned on the music. He curled up on Logan's neatly made bed, and a pathetic sound escaped his mouth. He closed his eyes to stop the tears and lost himself in the music.

**I've screamed until my veins collapsed.  
I've waited as my times elapsed.  
Now, all I do is live with so much hate.  
I've wished for this, I've bitched at that.  
I've left behind this little fact:  
You cannot kill what you did not create.**

**I push my fingers into my eyes.  
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache.  
But it's made of all the things I have to take.  
Jesus, it never ends, it works its way inside.  
If the pain goes on,  
I'm not gonna make it!**

x-x

Kendall swallowed continuously to remove the uncomfortable lump in his throat, wallowing in his own despair. Pain to remove pain! He knew it worked! With a small sob Kendall got off the bed and, after grabbing his phone, went to the bathroom. It only took a small search to find Logan's spare razor blades and he removed one of them from the small box.

Kendall slid down the wall in the bathroom and felt a few tears roll down his cheek. He took a second to steady his breath, and then rolled up his left sleeve. Kendall studied the delicate web of scars ranging from his wrist to his elbow, different lengths and widths tangled together, forming a confusing pattern.

He chose a spot on the middle of his forearm and inhaled deeply. The searing cut in his flesh immediately produced a stream of dark blood, and as always Kendall watched the running liquid, picturing his worries disappearing with the red fluid. Cutting might be a somewhat new "trend" spreading like a disease through the despaired young people of the world, but really it was an ancient practice, Kendall thought. Bloodletting had been practiced all the time since way back when as a way to remove illnesses from the body, and wasn't that exactly what Kendall was doing right now? He only managed to convince himself half-heartedly, and let the blade sink down his slightly shaking arm again. Kendall rested his head against the wall and gently flipped the blade over in his hand. Maybe he should just end it? One more, deeper, cut to the wrist and he could float away to a comforting, blissful peace! No more worries, no more beatings, no more pain!

Kendall's thoughts were disturbed by his phone ringing in his pocket. He pulled it out, feeling his heart race as he saw the caller-id. He pressed the green button.

"Hey dad..." he almost whispered.

Kendall closed both his eyes and ears to the yelling on the other end of the line. He couldn't shut out all the words though, and they hit him like sharp smacks.

"You fucking piece of shit!" Brian growled, "wait til I get my hands on you, you won't sit for a month!"

Kendall swallowed his spit, not a doubt in his mind that his dad was telling the truth.

"Dad..." Kendall said gently, feeling a few treacherous tears gather in his eyes, "dad, how is she?"

"She fractured her skull and broke her back and is in a coma, how the fuck do you think she is! I swear Kendall, if you show up on my doorstep I'll beat you senseless!"

Kendall hung up, a guttural sob escaping him. He covered his eyes with his hands, pressing so hard it hurt. With a desperate moan he moved his hands to his hair, pulling hard at it before ruffling it violently in a complete fit of hysteria.

"AAAAAARGH!" Kendall screamed and kept pulling at his hair.

His fit was disturbed by knocking on the door. Kendall flinched as someone pulled at the doorknob and tried getting to him.

"Kendall!" James yelled, "Kendall what the hell!"

"Open the door!" Carlos added and pounded on the door.

"Go away, guys!" Kendall pleaded weakly, not even sure if his friends could hear him.

"We'll not fucking leave you! Now open!" Carlos growled.

A loud crash told Kendall that Carlos had tried using his helmet-clad head as a battering-ram. He wasn't prepared to deal with being guilty of any more harm to the people he cared for, and Kendall crawled to the door and opened it.

His friends eyed him in shock, and at first Kendall didn't understand their horrified expressions.

"Kendall what happened?" James asked in a high pitched voice and gestured towards all the blood.

"Oh my God, are you dying?!" Carlos shouted and knelt besides his friend.

"I'm not dying, Carlos" Kendall said and got to his feet.

Looking in the mirror he understood his friends terrified looks. Clearly his left arm was covered with blood, but his face was smeared with the red mass as well from when Kendall had pulled at his hair.

"It's only my arm that's bleeding" he explained awkwardly, feeling James and Carlos' eyes burning through him.

James grabbed Kendall's arm and stared at the web of scars with tears in his eyes.

"Kendall... d-did you... how long have you been doing this?"

Kendall freed himself.

"Don't worry about that... it's just... it kinda helps you know?"

"No, I don't know, Kendall! How the hell could you do this to yourself?" he yelled angrily.

Both Kendall and Carlos jumped at the taller boy's outburst.

Carlos placed a hand on James' arm.

"Calm down, man" he said.

"No I won't fucking calm down Carlos!"

James continued to yell and grabbed Kendall by the front of his shirt.

"You should have come to us! You should have told! Dammit Kendall, how could you be so stupid!"

Kendall pushed James in the chest to free himself, but only succeeded in being pulled even closer to James, as the taller boy wouldn't release his grip on Kendall.

"Don't stand there, telling me off like some naughty kid, James! Just shut the fuck up. You have no idea how this feels!"

James had never felt so inclined to hit Kendall before, but instead he shook him, roaring right at him.

"NO I DON'T, SO FUCKING TELL ME! TELL ME, TELL CARLOS, TELL LOGAN! MAKE US UNDERSTAND SO WE CAN HELP YOU! BUT STOP HURTING YOURSELF!"

Kendall flinched, feeling as if James had slapped him. But the words got through and he looked James straight in the eyes, green eyes locked on hazel ones. The room was filled with so much emotion, that the boys could almost physically feel it.

A muffled cry disturbed the tense boys in the bathroom, and James finally let go of Kendall. Kendall rinsed off his bleeding arm and then followed Carlos and James out of the bathroom.

Logan was standing in the doorway, balancing three stuffed bags of groceries at once.

"A little help guys!" he cried from somewhere behind the bags, and Carlos immediately relieved him of a bag. James grabbed the other two, and quietly told Logan what Kendall had done. The raven haired boy immediately went into doctor mode and forced Kendall through a series of examinations, clean-ups and finally forced a bandage on the cuts.

Kendall was both annoyed and grateful. No just for Logan going all doctor on him, but for Carlos being willing to use his head as a battering-ram to get to him and for James getting so angry he almost hit him, forcing him to understand that he didn't only hurt himself by cutting. He truly had friends who cared for his well-being!

x-x

An hour later they were all benched around the dining table, a portion of pasta in front of each of them.

Logan was really quite skilled in the kitchen, and this time Kendall actually tasted the food. This had to be the best meal he had had in a long time!

Suddenly a tiny handful of pasta hit James in the head and his eyes widened.

"Carlos, you just ruined my hair!" he screeched and threw pasta back in Carlos' face.

The Latino just laughed, and sent Logan and Kendall some mischievous looks.

"No!" James said sternly, when Kendall grabbed a handful of his food, "NO! That's not fair. You're three to one!"

James' eyes darted to and fro and he emitted a shrill mini-scream as three handfuls of pasta hit his formerly perfect hair at once.

Twenty minutes later the entire dining room and all four boys were covered with pasta and sauce, and they agreed to shower and clean up the mess before Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell got home.

When the hot water was pouring down on Kendall, he couldn't help but smile a little. He didn't lose everyone he loved! Katie was still alive and James, Carlos and Logan would always be there for him. No matter what!

x-x

The boys were sitting in Logan's room watching a movie when Carlos suddenly pulled something from his pocket. He passed the note to Kendall.

"Sorry to bring this up Kendall" he said apologetically, "Mrs. Janson went completely mental today! She kept asking about you and where you were..."

Kendall swallowed his spit, remembering how he had left the classroom the day before. He looked at the paper Carlos had handed to him. It was a small notice from both Mrs. Janson and Principal Bennett about his behavior the previous day. If he still wanted to consider himself a student at this high school, it was crystal clear that he had to show up at Bennett's office the following morning to clear things up.

Kendall sighed and scratched his neck. That meeting would without a doubt be very unpleasant from his point of view!


	4. Chapter 4

**Thursday: The Haunted – The Cynic**

At 8.15, Kendall was standing in the principal's office looking down on his dirty Vans. Principal Bennett was hysterically angry with his behavior towards Mrs. Janson. Never in his 17 years as a principal had he experienced a student using the f-word at a teacher! He yelled and screamed, slammed both his fists down his table so the coffee mug danced, and he paced the room, while giving Kendall the worst scolding of his entire life. Next to the one James had given him the previous night!

When Bennett stopped to breathe, Mrs. Janson took over and let Kendall know exactly what she thought of kids with an attitude like his!

Kendall made sure to look repenting and apologize at the right moments, and after well over half an hour he was released to the freedom once again. He breathed in heavily. Brian hadn't answered his phone when Bennett had called him, so luckily Kendall avoided his company!

x-x

James, Carlos and Logan all looked curiously at Kendall when he got to class, and he quickly filled them in on the recent events.

"Damn, you were so freaking lucky you weren't kicked out, man!" James said and patted Kendall's shoulder.

"Yeah, I know dude!" Kendall answered, and went to his seat as the bell rang.

Dak and Wayne both sent Kendall's jaw some investigating looks, but they could stare all they wanted, he wasn't going to tell them anything.

In the middle of the English lesson, the door to the classroom slammed open with an impressive bang. People shrieked and a few of the girls dropped to the floor to hide behind their tables. The amount of school shootings scared people, and slamming doors weren't normally part of the classes!

Kendall's stomach churned and his heart beat so hard he was rather surprised it didn't leave his body, when he saw the person standing in the doorway. Brian had an insane look on his face and searched the room for Kendall. He lifted a quivering finger when he spotted him.

"You!" he yelled loudly, "come here! They called from the hospital and told me that Katie might never wake up again!"

Kendall's pulse rose to the extreme and he got up from his chair. He went to face his dad and tried to shoo him from the room. The girls all watched Brian with fear in their eyes, and the English teacher, Mr. Chapman, seemed temporarily paralyzed from the interruption.

"Isn't it enough to kill my wife, your own mother! Now you gotta take my daughter as well!" Brian scowled at Kendall and grabbed his shirt.

Kendall pulled free and pushed his dad towards the hallway.

"Stop it" he pleaded in a low voice.

"And then your principal calls to tell med how you speak to your teachers! What the hell's the matter with you?"

Brian swung his arm with all his might, and the slap echoed down the halls, making Kendall's classmates flinch in their seats. Mr. Chapman finally seemed to "wake up" and he ran to Kendall and his fuming dad to separate the two.

Brian threw his son one last nasty look. If eyes could kill, Kendall would have dropped dead! Then Brian turned around and stormed down the hallway. Mr. Chapman grabbed Kendall around the shoulders and looked him in the eyes.

"Are you okay Kendall?" he asked in a shaky voice.

He nodded and studied the floor.

"I think you should take the rest of the day off and go see your sister!" the teacher suggested kindly, "school is no place to be at a time like this!"

Kendall licked his lips.

"Thanks, but I think I'll stay here. My dad will be with Katie for sure, and... well, you saw what he's like!"

Mr. Chapman nodded and gently squeezed Kendall's shoulders. The English teacher led Kendall back to his chair, and he felt his classmates staring at him. The Jennifers were glaring openly at his cheek where Brian's hand print shone bright and red, and Wayne looked as if he finally started to understand how the pieces fit together.

Kendall put on his headphones and placed his head on his arms as The Haunted started playing.

**Keep your sticky fingers off me.  
I hate the stench of you.  
Sickening and stale.  
The sharp synthetic lies.  
Bleach amyl, dust and sweat.**

**Cold hands and shivers inside.  
Who was a victim?  
Who are you to say?**

**I was so much younger then  
all these years I've kept my silence**

**Save your sympathies.  
Shut up and give in.  
There is no sin, nothing can change it, we're all alone.  
Once the damage is done...**

x-x

Katie might never wake up! Brian's words echoed in Kendall's head. He couldn't care less about the slap, but why did his dad have to say those exact words?! Kendall sighed and looked at Carlos, who patted his back comfortingly, but clearly didn't know what to say at this moment.

What was he going to do if Katie would have to lie in that bed for the rest of her life? She HAD to wake up! Kendall sent a prayer to the Gods he didn't believe in, and felt completely horrified at the thought of having to live with the guilt of Katie's death – or her infinite coma!

x-x

During recess several of Kendall's classmates made sympathetic comments and he silently let him. They neither hurt nor comforted him. He doubted that even James, Carlos or Logan could make him feel better at that moment!

Kendall's thoughts solely revolved on Katie and his fears of losing her, but when Wayne said something sickeningly nice, he was pulled from his thoughts. He looked Wayne straight in the eyes and got up.

"I don't want your sympathy! Just leave me alone..."

James got in between the two, facing Wayne.

"Fuck off, Wayne!" he rasped and pushed the smaller boy harsly in the chest.

Wayne narrowed his eyes, Dak suddenly at his side.

"He was just trying to be nice, man!" Dak said and pushed Carlos, who had joined James in shielding off Kendall.

"Didn't you understand what he said?" Logan asked and poked Dak in the chest, "No I guess not! With a brain the size of a fucking peanut, you don't really get much, do you!" he continued sarcastically.

Dak immediately raised a fist and punched Logan in the nose. He might not be the most intelligent student at the school, but he understood an insult when he heard one!

Within seconds a full-on brawl erupted in the middle off the cafeteria. Carlos jumped Dak to help Logan, who was still on the floor, cupping his bleeding nose, with Dak on top trying to get in another hit. James decided to headbutt Wayne, who recuperated surprisingly quickly and with a howl launched himself on the bigger teen.

Kendall shook his head at his friends. They were doing this for him! Kendall felt a small smile appear on his face before he jumped into the fight, throwing punches left and right.

It took five teachers to separate the fighting boys! One grabbed Wayne and Dak, one Carlos and Logan and one grabbed Kendall. It took two to finally succeed in dragging James off Wayne and out of the cafeteria. No one had ever seen him this angry, his eyes were dark and frightening and he licked his split lip before spitting on the floor.

"If you so much as look at Kendall, I'll fucking rip you to shreds!" he screamed at Wayne and Dak as the teacher led the two boys away.

"THAT'S ENOUGH MR. DIAMOND!" the giant gym teacher Mr. Kent roared and shook James so his teeth collided, "DETENTION FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK!"

"Oh, shut up!" James mumbled angrily, earning him another painful shake before he was dragged to the principal's office along with his friends.

x-x

Carlos, James and Logan were sitting on James' bed, all looking unhappily at Kendall. They had returned from the hospital a few hours earlier, and not much had been said since then. Kendall had paced the room, talking to himself all the while, but only seldomly loud enough for his friends to hear.

At the hospital the boys had succeeded in luring Brian away from Katie's room with a prank call to his phone. As Logan pulled off a convincing Mr. Appleby from Houston, Texas, Kendall had snuck into Katie's room.

She had been lying in the exact same position as when Kendall had seen her two days prior. He looked at his baby sister, tears glazing over his eyes. He stroked her hair and kissed her on the forehead.

"Please come back to me Katie!" he whispered, feeling his throat constricting him.

Kendall got up and found the little teddy bear in his backpack. It was one of the ones Katie had won at Six Flags, and he placed the little bear in his sister's arms before they left.

Kendall plopped down next to his friends. He was teary eyed and his insides were rebelling wildly. On the way home from the hospital, when the boys had discussed the entirety of the situation, Logan had offered Kendall a bed in his room. The suggestion made Kendall both happy and heartbroken. The thought of moving to the Mitchell household was comforting and would provide the safety that Kendall had missed for so many years, and at the same time it was a huge step and very much made Kendall feel like he left Katie behind.

"Okay" he said and stopped pacing.

Logan looked up.

"Okay?" he asked, and Kendall nodded.

"But if she wakes up, I'm gonna move home..."

Logan dragged Kendall in for a hug.

"Of course" he said, "WHEN she wakes up, we're gonna figure something out!"


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Alrighty, it's time for the final showdown :) Enjoy :D**

* * *

**Friday: Throwdown – Hellbent on war**

At 1.32 am, Kendall was standing in front of Brian's house. He needed his stuff. His clothes, his movies and music and his photo albums. And another of Katie's stuffed animals! His heart was pounding in his chest and he stole a glance at the car on the street. It had proved impossible for Kendall to convince the guys to let him go alone, but in the end they had agreed to stay in the car.

Kendall's argument about them going to make more noise and thus making everything way worse, was pretty solid, and so they waited in the car. Logan was just as nervous as Kendall, and he was biting frantically on a nail.

x-x

Kendall knew that he, no doubt, was entering a war zone! But he didn't really have a choice.

He carefully turned the key and pressed down the doorknob. The door opened silently, and Kendall held his breath. Not a sound! The house was pitch black.

He snuck inside and closed the door as carefully as he'd opened it. His eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness and he moved towards the stairs. On of the steps creaked loudly and Kendall felt the blood freeze in his veins. Fucking hell! He stopped moving and instead listened. Still silence!

Kendall went up the stairs and pushed the door to his room open. He entered, pushing the door shut with one of his feet. As quietly as possible, he started putting the stuff he needed into his backpack.

Kendall was pulling his photo albums out from underneath his bed, and was just about to get up and get another one of Katie's bears, when the door slid open behind him with an awful squeak! He swallowed his spit and prepared for whatever was coming.

Brian's eyes were mere slits, and yet they radiated such pure rage that Kendall could almost feel it across the room! The belt was hanging from his dad's hand and the scruffy man spat on the floor before stepping towards his trembling son. Kendall could smell the alcohol on his father's breath, though he was still five and a half feet away! He quickly got to his feet and raised his hands to ward off the coming attack.

Brian aimed for Kendall's face, and he automatically raised his arm quickly, so the blow was absorbed on his forearm instead. The blow was hard and loud and Kendall groaned, as the belt hit the wounds from the cutting. With a sudden movement Brian grabbed his son and pushed him down on his bed, his face in the pillow, and Kendall desperately tried to shut down his feelings to prevent the tears he knew would otherwise come!

Brian spent all his force and hit in a steady rhythm. Kendall's body reacted to the blows with delay, so he felt the pain of one blow right before he heard the belt hit him again with a deafening WHACK!

The anger grew inside Kendall and the thoughts of all the times Brian had hit him and Katie flashed before his inner eye. He groped for something useful and caught a small stone figurine, his mother had given him ten years prior. Kendall twisted around, throwing the figurine with all his might at Brian, and hit him in the head. The belt caught Kendall painfully on his cheek, making him cry out in agony, but Brian too lifted his hands to feel his head for whatever injuries the stone figurine had caused.

Kendall grabbed an empty glass and thrust it at his dad. He missed, but instead hit the stereo, which roared to life, making Throwdown join the fight!

**Blood for blood...  
I'm taking you down.  
Blood for blood...  
Prepare yourself.**

**I've stood by too many goddamn times,  
turned a blind eye.  
I let it pass.  
But never again, never again.  
An example will be set.  
And you will pay your debt to me in blood.**

**Blood for blood...  
I'm taking you down.  
Blood for blood...  
Prepare yourself.**

**There's not a law in the fucking land  
that will keep me  
from putting things right with you.  
Hellbent on war!**

**Now we're well past words and threats  
and everything in between.  
No more restraint, just pure hostility.**

**Confrontation, intimidation,  
vindication, I'll have my way.  
They say an eye for an eye,  
a tooth for a tooth, but...  
A code of violence and vengeance  
is written in blood.**

**Blood for blood...  
I'm taking you down.  
Blood for blood...  
Prepare yourself... for war!**

Brian's face was bright red and his whole body was trembling. A thin trail of blood made its way down his face.

"Don't you fucking dare throw anymore things at me, your little shit!" he yelled hysterically and hit Kendall across the face with the belt again.

He yelped from the blow, but struggled to get to his feet, feeling motivated by the aggressive music in his ears. Adrenaline pumped through his body and Kendall finally succeeded in getting up.

"Fuck you, you sick bastard!" he screamed and spat his dad in the face.

Brian clenched his jaw shut and narrowed his eyes, as he wiped off the spit. A snarl escaped him and his fist made rough contact with Kendall's cheekbone and knocked the teen to the floor again.

While Kendall was raving around, seeing dancing stars, Brian stumbled from the room and turned the light on in the hallway.

Kendall's head was throbbing and his sight blurry, but he managed to get up and breathed in heavily a few times. Throwdown's lyrics echoed in his head. "They say an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, but a code of violence and vengeance is written in blood!"

With a loud scream Kendall shot out of the room and pushed Brian hard in the back. The older man hit the wall and lost his balance on one of Katie's shoes, making him stumble and fall down the flight of stairs! He tried fending off the fall but acted too late. Brian tumbled down and hit the steps head first. A sickening snap made Kendall open his eyes wide and look down the stairs. Brian wasn't moving!

x-x

The silence echoed in Kendall's mind and every thinkable emotion was running through him. He had killed another human being! Well maybe not a human being, but something like it. Someone who used to be a human being. Someone who used to be a father!

Kendall found himself to be crying unrestrained and he sniffled a few times. He went down the stairs and passed his dad without looking at him.

He ran to the car and Logan, Carlos and James all jumped out, alarmed by the obvious and very nasty bruises on their friend's face.

"What happened?" James yelled, glaring towards the house, "is he coming?"

"Call your dad, Carlos" Kendall ordered in a shaky voice.

Logan took a step forward and placed a shaking hand on Kendall's arm.

"Kendall, what happened in there?"

Kendall blinked a few times.

"I killed him!"

x-x

The flashing blue lights lit up the living room. Kendall was sitting at the dining table in the kitchen, James protectively wrapping an arm around him. Carlos and Logan both clutched mugs of coffee, silently sipping at the semi-warm drink.

Across the table Officer Garcia sat, writing down Kendall's statement. That Brian was drunk and had attacked him. That Kendall had fought back – struggled for his life and thrown the figurine and hit Brian in the head so hard that he got dizzy and fell down the stairs.

Officer Garcia accepted Kendall's explanation without hesitation, but told him he probably would be called in for further investigation.

The body was removed, and Kendall was attended by a doctor who shook his head in disbelief at the story. Kendall was completely covered in bruises, cuts and welts, both on the body and in the face, sported a black eye and on top of that the wounds from the accident were still raw and bloody! No one doubted the truth of Kendall's explanation.

And besides, James, Carlos, Logan and the entire class could testify that Brian had hit him in the face!

Kendall felt bruised. He felt tired. And he felt free!

x-x

Three miles away in room 408, a little girl with brown hair opened her eyes. She was holding a small, brown teddy bear and swallowed something in her throat.

"Kendall!" she rasped, "Kendall!"

The nurse who was guarding the room called a doctor and hurried to the office to call the family. Katie had woken up!

* * *

**And that was it! I hoped you liked this Kendall-whump-filled ficlet, and I will love you forever if you throw a review my way with your thoughts :)**

**Peace out,**

**Rikke \m/**


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